Virgins are becoming a rare breed, even in the church. The general response from our society is - what a joke! What’s wrong with you? Society treats virginity as something we must get rid of as fast as we can. It doesn’t matter what the experience was like or how you felt after, the important thing is you are not one anymore. The cold hard fact about losing your virginity is this - you lose it. It is one of those things that is a ‘once off’. You can’t give it twice. This can be a very good thing, especially if you’ve given it to someone you really love and they have made a promise to be with you for life (marriage). But if that is not the case, one day you will regret it and there will be problems and heartache to work through, maybe even a disease. God can make you a ‘reborn’ virgin. He forgives, which is the most important thing, but your body doesn’t. There are plenty of Christians suffering from AIDS and sexual diseases. I’m not saying God can’t heal, but your body only gives you one chance.
Our society has done a remarkable job of breaking down our convictions about sex. Nearly every movie has ‘a scene’ in it somewhere and it is almost never in context of marriage. Sex is everywhere, and is used to sell everything from soap to a Chico Roll. The show ‘Seinfeld’ was a brilliant sitcom in its day, but unfortunately, a casualty of their humour was sex. In Seinfeld, sex was just a thing everyone should do especially if you are not married. It was just ‘yada yada’, nothing important that we should respect.
What are the facts about sex? Why should we respect it? Firstly, it is not just a physical act, something that you do, ‘yada yada’. Sex affects you physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. That’s quite major don’t you think? It affects your whole being and not many things do that the way sex can.
Whenever I have heard the ’sex talk’ either at church, school, youth group, video presentation, wherever, the tactic was always the same - what it will cost YOU. They talk about the things you can catch, and often read out the testimony of someone with one of these hideous diseases. I used to feel itchy just listening to it. After they have talked about the 9000 different diseases they then move on to the emotional cost. You have probably got the picture by now and my intention isn’t to make fun of those presentations because they are valid. But I have been a human being long enough to notice something - risks don’t stop or deter us.
I am involved in a rehabilitation centre. Every bloke there was aware from the start of his addiction that it was a risk, he could die. I’m sure the people who set out to climb Mount Everest knew what the risks were, but did that stop them? It seems to me people love taking risks; there would be no such thing as adventure sports if that were not the case. The best reason we have for putting sex within boundaries is because God who designed it said to. Simple as that. God wants it within the boundaries of marriage; outside that it is wrong.
Why is it a big deal to God? Before I start answering that question you answer this one. How much was it your decision to be born? My guess is you had nothing to do with it. How much did God have to do with you being conceived? This may shock you, but God in His sovereignty awarded that decision to your biological father and mother. Sex isn’t just a way of showing love (or lust as it is in many cases) to someone. It is also the act of creating another eternal human being. This is why it is such a big deal. This is why there is a certain aura around sex; it has eternity connected to it. You are messing around with eternity when you play around with sex. You are making a choice for someone else. This is why God has strict rules regarding sexual behaviour because it’s dealing with eternity and the creation of another human being.
There are many scientists now who are absolutely convinced that cell division, what happens when a baby is developing, is supernatural. One secular documentary referred to it as ‘The miracle of life’. They look at it under a microscope and can’t explain why it happens. Yes, they know all the chemicals involved, the DNA and so on. But why? What causes it? It is God at work, creating. God has made this deal with us - you put a sperm and egg together and I’ll make an eternal human being. It doesn’t matter how you were conceived (rape, an affair, a one night stand…), you are and will always be a creation of God. All human life is sacred for this reason, especially the unborn. When an abortion takes place you are interrupting God at work and He loves to finish what He has started. In God’s eyes it is murder.
God has rules about sex not only to protect you but also someone else you are making a decision for. If you were making something valuable and precious, what would you do when you had finished? You would look after it, wouldn’t you? God is no different; that is why God wants sex within marriage. If He is going to create another eternal human being, He wants His little creation well looked after, ideally by a mother and father, people who have made a vow for life, who can offer security and all the benefits of a stable family.
Keeping sex in the context of marriage is important. All the things spoken about in those ’sex talks’ are totally relevant. It affects your whole being - you better believe it. Outside marriage it will cost you and it will be more than you realise. The most important reason for abstinence is the fact God asked you to and His reasons for doing so are compelling. Sex in the wrong context is simply selfishness. It’s all about what you can get, satisfying your own desires. And on top of that it shows no respect or regard for someone God can create.